Sunday, October 31, 2010
Chapter Zero
All throughout of the story “The Iliad”, there’s a prophecy that the Gods believe in. They are ensuring that Greeks would win and take over Troy. They are always intervening in the battle between the Trojans and Achaeans. As a reader, I hate the way Gods interfere so I was thinking of scenes that can be modified.
The events that I want to change from the book are when Achilles shows his rage over King Agamemnon. I want to change the decision that he make. The story goes like this:
When Achilles thinks about what will happen next for him, he sees Patroclus who is in his training camp. He talks to him and ask what he should do in order to show revenge to King Agamemnon. Patroclus, flashes an idea through his mind, and suggests that he should join Hector and the Trojans to battle and defeat King Agamemnon. A messenger comes to them and report to them that Briseis was slain by the King. Gaining a bursting rage, Achilles calls for the myrmidons and asks help from Patroclus to speak with Hector and make some negotiations about the war. Hector agrees upon them and gladly accepts them with open arms. The Trojans and Achilles’ army are now inspired to battle and swear to each other that they will do their best and defeat the Achaeans.
The Gods from above have gathered and talks about the decision of Achilles. Zeus said that the Trojans would not win because of the prophecy. In everything that will happen, the Trojans would still be defeated and the Greeks will reign.
One week later, the battle has begun and Achilles shows skills that can be compared to a God. He kills soldiers one by one. Also battling, Hector is now motivated on how Achilles clashes out with the Achaeans, so he cries out to his army and fights with dedication.
King Agamemnon is worried about what’s happening in the battle so he asks help from Zeus. Then, the Cloudgatherer grants his request and also thought of making the Greeks win because of the prophecy that is prepared for them.
With the help of the Gods, the Achaeans make the Trojan army reduce to 300 or less. But the resiliency and the power of the will by Achilles and Hector make their army become stronger. They attack, defend and stand-up until both army decreases. Zeus forces them to stop from combat and says that a fight must come down into four people. A battle must involve Achilles and Paris from the Trojan side and Agamemnon and Menelaus from the Greeks and no one should interfere in the match. These four people have confrontations with the man they facing off.
Now, the match has started and they stare to each other. Eventually, Achilles makes the first blow to Agamemnon. Then, the battle turns out to be fierier. When the match has lasted long, Paris is now exhausted and when Menelaus notices it, he pursues to kill Paris with a spear and execute it very well. Watching in the top of the battle tower, Hector mourns for Paris and thinking to go to battle but his wife, Andromache, stops him.
A 2 on 1 match is now occurring. The Trojans cheer for Achilles and the Achaeans are rejoicing. Achilles stands firm but his opponents are turning down because of exhaustion. So, Achilles did not let time passes by and stabs Agamemnon through his heart and throw his spear into Menelaus and resulted into a double kill. The Trojans are roaring like thunder and exults by Achilles’ victory. People remember Achilles as the hero of the story.
This is a short summary of what I am thinking of my version. I want to change what will happen and bring victory to the Trojans. I don’t want to believe in the prophecy and have faith by one’s character. I like to make Achilles be honoured. This is the version that I want to end in the story.
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Score: 28
ReplyDeleteCreative and logical! Congratulations!
Kindly check on subject-verb agreement and tense consistency.